26 July 2010
Shoe Without A Foot
A lone stiletto
Not exactly old
On an electrical box top
Near an old-style coffeeshop
Was it abandoned?
A waste that can't be condoned
Did the other heel break?
Next time buy a better make!
Or was she overdressed?
Hence unduly stressed
At being brought here
By a stingy date I fear
Then flung her stiletto
At the el-cheapo
And hastily departed
Quite broken-hearted
Or accidently soaked earlier
In the recent floodwater
Caused by the heavy rain
When one foot went into a drain
Now she's only air-drying it
When I paid an untimely visit
She never thought it so often
That a poem can be written
Maybe I'm only imagining
Like someone has been saying
Perhaps she was Cinderella
Who fitted nicely in a glass slipper
So had no use for the extra shoe
As she had found her beau
They probably left in laughter
And lived happily ever after
(Related post by Rick Burnett Baker here.)
13 February 2010
The Tiger Creeps Upon Us
From Chinatown to Little IndiaThere are sights and sounds
Of the passing of another year
As visitors make their rounds
A Wood Tiger in a Metal YearNot a favorite time to have a baby
Don't mistake it for Tiger Woods last year
Who played many holes but paid dearly
Forget about past unhappinessTomorrow is a new beginning
Whether you're running a business
Or like most who're just working
Welcome the God of Fortune
Wish you health and prosperity
And all hopes be realised soon
Gong Xi Gong Xi
23 January 2010
Going Round In Circles

My name is Trachemys scripta elegans
That's what I am know in science
Otherwise just call me red-eared slider
Actually I live on land more than in water
I should have a long life
But deep I can't dive
Grew up in this vessel
Not been outside this circle
Used to have a companion
But not long was our union
Yearning all day for freedom
He probably died of boredom
Why must I be imprisoned?
Sometimes even seasoned
And cooked into a soup
We strongly protest as a group
You are not doing me a favourMy lifestyle you never can cater
Why did you have to adopt me?
Can't you just let me be?
My movement may be slow
But Iet me decide where to go
Please treat me kindly
Though you can't set me free
Caught between a rock and a hard place
I long for better days
I don't want to live and die
In this miserable pig sty
05 December 2009
Bra As Mask
An invention that makes an impactIn a crisis it can save your life
Its only side effect:
Reminds one of tender moments with wife
What's wrong with a regular mask?Let me hazard a guess
Stocking up is so impossible a task
That women have to go braless?
In fact Bodnar's invention is nothing newSomeone has already thought of that
Visit this link to see it's so
How resourceful can you get?
Are these people mad?First, they used it as pampers
Could next be sanitary pad?
These inventions really make (one) wonders
03 July 2009
A Bird On Top And One Below

Standing here without a stitch
Forbidden to make one twitch
Been here since don't know when
Yet never could I get a tan
Some say I might be David
Yes I could be him indeed
But why was I made by Michelangelo
I guess I will never know

Was it to depict my manhood
For admiration by the neighbourhood?
Or how tiny it should not be
So the average man would be happy?
In 1991 a mad man hammered me
Hit my toes but spared my "wee wee"
It still hurts don't you know?
Now there's a bird on top and one below
Is there more of this humiliation?How much longer of such frustration?
It's not easy being a sculpture
Rain, shine and stares to endure
So you think there's nothing to that?
Just not moving can make you fat
It happened in the museum
I became obese ad nauseum
12 April 2009
A Train Derailment in Singapore?
A derailment near an MRT station
Did a terrorist attack
Cause the train to jump track?
Never did it happen before
At least not in Singapore
Not even one survivor
The carnage seemed severe
Did Mas come back
And created this wreck?
This is no child's play
Let there be no such day
We should always be prepared
Children shouldn't be spared
They could practise evacuation
While learning about locomotion
What Frannxis mentioned here
Is also what I hold dear
When it concerns national security
We shouldn't take it easy
So be always on your guard
Against terrorism in your backyard
Or even in your front court
For Mas has yet to be caught

Before coming to a conclusion
May I pose you a question
Where in Singapore is this place?
An easy quiz you could surely ace
Need not a railway enthusiast be
Like Peter, Icemoon, Chun See or Stanley
A glimpse you might have caught
While passing by in modern-day transport
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26 December 2008
Our New Attraction

Come experience the Flyer
Relive peeing into a diaper
Or what the hag
Just use a plastic bag
Oh my goodness
What if it's big business?
Why haven't we thought of that?
Er, can drop them into your hat?
Wonder why it's called a "flight"?
'Cos last 7 hours it might
You could have flown to Hong Kong and back
But with us, you just stay put and relak
You may be chosen for an extended stay
If you are, take time to admire the bay
Yes it may seem a little boring for some
But the most exciting part is yet to come
Be treated to a rare acrobatic display
Climbers on the spokes coming your way
While watching entertainment you deserve
Refreshments from the sky we serve
You could have missed it in the army
No, it is not in the itinerary
Something that's called "abseiling"
We assure you it's very exciting
The climbers do not just entertain
In abseiling they did train
Oh so you do have acrophobia?
Just close your eyes and you'll not fear
Eh, why are you complaining?
For only a 35-minute ride you are paying
You get a 7-hour adventure
Anyone would've been thrilled for sure
19 October 2008
Effects Of The Current Financial Turmoil (2)
Not the escapee from prison
Shouldn't it be keeping our savings selamat?*
People who lost money are understandably mad
Some investors bought "minibond"
Now their money could be all gone
Its complexity's beyond the layman
Many didn't know it was linked to Lehman
The product with a fanciful name
But minibonds and bonds are not the same
Who would think a 5% dividend is reasonable
When you could lose all of your principal?
For some it was their entire life savings
Yet the distributors said it had good ratings
"Your risk is very small"
Spinning a tale that's very tall
Is it the buyers' carelessness?
Or rather the sellers' callousness?
Were the buyers simply greedy?
Or were the sellers obviously shifty?
Many elderly people were targeted
The products were indiscreetly marketed
Some were not educated highly
A prospectus they'll not understand easily
Many of them were retirees
Who have collected CPF monies
The banks knew they were cash-laden
So what if there's no diversification?
Some had only wanted fixed deposits renewed
But instead had their investment strategies reviewed
The banks not caring all this while
If the products fit the customers' risk profile
Some VIP even said something like this
If you're unwilling to take any risk
Leave your money with the CPF for 4% return
A very good rate with no risk taken
* - "Selamat" is Malay for "safe". It is also part of the name of the escaped terrorist.
Below are some funny cartoons published in last Sunday's New Paper:

06 October 2008
My Cups Runneth Over

Got these photos in an email
Sender possibly a hot-blooded male
First photo looks exciting
But second one's more interesting
Curves in all the right places
Though the garment sans laces
Not only titillating
But also enticing
Sleeping on the bed
Looking half-naked
There soundly you lay
Do you always sleep that way?
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What's wrong with your caretakers?
Did they run out of pampers?
Now if this blog doesn't make you smile
You've lost humour sense quite awhile
14 September 2008
An Indecent Exposure
He displayed his upright organ in public
A despicable act that makes one sick
Unaware of the risk he posed
By a concerned neighbour he was exposed
A prized and personal possession like me
Admired and played in privacy it should be
Why expose it in a common corridor
Right next to somebody's door?
Though wrapped up properly
Beneath it the large member all could see
He obviously thought it was alright
But right or wrong was clear as black and white
First saw his offending act yesterday
Yet he was still at it today
Why can't he be more considerate
For neighbours living in the same estate?
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(Please scroll down for a photo of his offending act.)
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(Warning: If you are offended by such photos, you may hit the "Back" button now.)
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(Oh, you didn't hit the "Back" button.)
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(Woah, I admire your guts.)
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Caught a second time? (First time here.) Oh my, then consider yourself really gullible. Muahahaha.
05 September 2008
A Man Fell Down
Happened at a pedestrian crossing
Wasn't a serious circumstance
Yet his life hung in the balance
Couldn't get up on his own
Nearby in red stood his clone
The companion didn't look like he cared
'Cos he simply stood by and stared
Oh dear, what happened har?
Was he knocked down by a car?
Or assaulted by an enemy?
How it came to this I didn't see.
I approached the injured man cautiously
And took a photo of him discreetly
A few times he blinked at me
Before passing out momentarily
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Hahaha, gotcha didn't I?
24 December 2007
The Best Christmas Gift Ever
This story happened long long agoA tale exactly 16 years old
A boy was born into this world
At Mount Elizabeth Hospital
He was a healthy full-term baby
But the birth wasn't easy
Especially for the first-time mother
From morn till dusk lasted the labour
The doctor was summoned
His Christmas dinner he must have abandoned
Braved the Orchard traffic jams to Mount Elizabeth
Just so he could attend to the childbirth
She pushed and dad tried to urge
Yet the baby refused to emerge
The pain was so unbearable
She was given an epidural
The doctor used forceps, biceps and suction pump
Still the baby remained firmly within the "hump"
The doctor finally made the decision
To deliver by Caesarian section
It was a move that couldn't be delayed
Although this was never said
It turned out to be a right decision
The reason was clear only after the incision
Round the baby's ankle twirled the umblical cord
The baby's life was saved, thank God
He weighed more than 7-pound
More importantly, his health was sound
Words could not describe the parents' joy
When holding for the first time their boy
It was a feeling of ecstasy
Almost one of fantasy
The boy grew up to be quite smart
His good academic results warmed the heart
So did his good behaviour
And his moral character
It is the best Christmas gift ever
For which the parents are grateful forever
Wishing you many more Happy Birthdays
We will love you, always

From: Dad, Mum and ZQ
22 October 2007
A Child Was Born

Eleven years ago today morn
A little child was born
So little was he
Weighed barely 1 kg
So early was he
Was to arrive only in January
But came in October
Making him a year older
A Malay woman passed him by
Possibly visiting a baby nearby
Commented "Bayi ini keci*"
Innocent remark though that may be
Though happy at his arrival
We worried for his survival
Told his chance was "not too good"
That kinda affected our mood
Friends and relatives dared not congratulate
What if there was a twist of fate?
There were no flowers or cards
But they must be praying in their hearts
Many hospital visits were made
Most days we were by his bed
At first he couldn't even be carried
Needed more time, couldn't be hurried
So many tubes attached to his body
Seeing him like this made us sorry
We felt his pain
Nearly drove us insane
Mum lovingly prepared EBM** for his food
We were told nothing else was as good
Brought it daily in a box that could chill
Which he consumed via his nostril!
Little by little, he grew steadily
We brought him home when he was 2 kg
After almost 3 months' stay
But the happiness was more than words could say
Today he's happy
And he's healthy
We're grateful as that's all we want
Happy Birthday, My Son
Mum, Dad and gor gor*** love you dearly, always.
Note:
* kecil (sometimes mispronounced as "keci") = Malay for "small"
** EBM = expressed breast milk
***gor gor = Cantonese for "elder brother"
26 May 2007
A Slice Of Life - Eulogy (Death Of A Friend)

Eugene has a very calming, soothing and therapeutic voice. His stories are still being broadcast 3 times a day, I think. I usually listen to the 7.55 am broadcast while driving to work. For the CD, I find Track No. 19 particularly meaningful. It is called "Eulogy (Death Of A Friend)" and below is its transcription:
A friend of mine passed away recently. And once again, I am reminded of the fragility of life. Somehow we don't think that the people around us - our colleagues, our family members, our friends - can actually die. Sure we all know that death is very much a part of life. But it's only when misfortune strikes that we are violently jolted out of our comfort zone, where we were nestling comfortably, thinking that we will all live to a ripe old age. But our lives can indeed be taken from us at any time regardless of how young or healthy we are. And the point is not to huddle in a dark corner fearing it but to make full use of every opportunity to love and appreciate the people around us. So that when they do pass on, we can be comforted by the fact that we have given all the love we had to give. And that the time has come now for someone else to hold the hands of the ones we have lost.
Funny how a heart beats
It finds its own rhythm
Amidst the cacophony of life
We're raised
Then suddenly take a fall
In a moment we're as dizzy
As the tight-rope artiste
Suddenly without a parasol
Paths cross haphazardly
And no one sees beyond the bend
We always choose to make our enemies
But we never choose to make our friends
Our plans were never grand
The visions we pursued were never really realised
We never packed the house
And the house has mostly sent us packing
But while the music played
The world became small and simple
And our hearts were dancing
So this is where you have gone and this is where you will wait
With the ones who left early
For the ones who will arrive late
We all have tickets for the same destination
Just different dates
Thanks for the ride my friend
Now we must ride on our own
There are many things I can't be certain of
But I'm sure you're not alone
In our darkest hours
You'll be in our hearts
Music brought us together
And through it, our souls will never part
22 May 2007
So Many Questions, So Few Answers

Life could be so unpredictable
Events could make unexpected turns
One moment it was a walk in the park
Next you could be pinned under a tree
You could be playing football
When a bolt came out of the blue
The blue blue sky that is
You died playing your favorite sport
You could be waiting for a bus
Along came a less than sober driver
Made a stop before your bus did
But not before ploughing you down
You cycled the same path
At the break of each dawn
A barrier was erected overnight
Paralysed by it was the least you expected
A minor accident occurred
Whose fault was it anyway?
Did that really matter?
Was it actually worth dying for?
So you broke up with your sweetheart
Whatever the reason given
Why throw away your future and double-degree?
Worse still, put her life in real danger?
He called off a relationship
Maybe it was lust and not love?
Was that so hard to accept?
That you had to throw his little child down?
Yes you might have been tormented
And you could have suffered discrimination
By hedonists or charlatans, who cares?
You've no bloody right to take innocent lives
He might have cheated you of money
Couldn't make a report as the money was dirty
Did that mean that you could gun him down
And then claim that you've had one too many?
You were deep in debt even before IRs were mooted
All because of a gambling addiction
Couldn't be repaid with a meagre salary
But was snuffing out your whole family a solution?
Work stress might be getting to you
Asked for a transfer but got rejected
Were you proving a point by jumping down
Leaving your poor wife to suffer after you?
Happy family you didn't treasure
China woman you went after
Even if a suicide pact failed
Did you have to chop her into 7 pieces?
Why do some babies die
Before they've a chance to live?
Why do some children have fatal diseases?
While others simply die in their sleep?
For some who could live
Everyday is a new challenge
Is that supposed to make them stronger
Or a test of love for their care-givers?
Does everything happen for a reason?
Must events follow a season?
So many questions, so few answers
Especially for us mere mortals
Sometimes it's hard to understand
Are things really in God's hands?
Why does He make it so difficult sometimes?
Could He be putting us through a trial?
05 May 2007
Is Cavalry Dead?

Horsing around was his motto
And horse around he did
Sometimes I was badly hit
I didn't take it lying down
When I was made the clown
Hit back for sure I did
At times extremely wicked
However it was all for the fun
Thought shine forever will the sun
But no it was not to be
Suddenly no more was the glee
First removed post abruptly
Then closed down blog completely
What's he up to?
I've got no idea too
He who introduced me to blogging
Now says he's quitting
What's going through his mind?
That is very unkind
He who taught me poems need not rhyme
A non-rhyming one is no crime
It only needs to have flow
But how to do I still don't know
So how could I accept your early demise
When I am still far from being wise?
Please will you teach me again?
This time I promise to be a saint
This for you is my blog obituary
In case you really are going to the mortuary
If new friend Kopi Soh can write one for you
It shames a good friend not to do same too
Yes what I write may be crap
But all ways and resources I'll tap
To bring you back to life
However keep the photo of your wife
Now I've tried
And I've cried
Just don't tell me that cavalry is dead
Don't wish that statement was ever said

21 April 2007
When Will The Shooting Stop?

Shot as in literally
His surname was Cho
He hailed from Seoul
His name was Seung Hui
Shocking act in a country most free
At Virginia Tech University
Where he was reading an English degree
Thirty two innocent people killed
America's worst school shooting it was billed
Pumped a bullet into own head
Rather than let the law catch up instead
Why the senseless killing
Was it an act willing
The way that he planned it
Pre-meditated is my verdict
Either that
Or he was mad
But now the question in mind
Is why a madman was not confined
It has happened many times before
In other campuses I recall
Their gun law seems non-existent
Right to own one is in the Constitution
Why is that so
I have no wish to know
What I'm asking those at the top
Is when will the shooting stop
Are you waiting for another madman to kill
(Happen again I am sure it will)
Before you review your gun law
Which now clearly has its flaw
Buying a gun is so easy
Whereas in my country
Getting chewing gum is harder
Can only smuggle a little from across the border
Here if you have a gun in your hand
Then you are either a policeman
Or a robber or intend to be
Who'll go on a crime spree
Background checks you may make
On sane gun buyers before a sale you take
But what if the buyer goes crazy
After the gun's been sold already?
Or the father who doesn't keep it properly
And his toddler lays hands on it playfully
Ends up shooting his sibling dead
I'd really rather the father be shot instead
Or when a driver loses his cool
Over a road rage incident perpetrated by a fool
Reaches for the gun under the seat
And kills a fellow motorist in a moment of the heat
Would you send a child to that country
To get that elusive degree
When he might get it only
If at all posthumously
My thoughts and sadness go to the departed
And their families who are most hurt
It is certainly difficult to get over
Let's just pray that it will not happen again ever
09 January 2007
Now Who Has Poor Eyesight?

'Cos car's power window gave way
With bicycle hung behind car
Sent boys to school and wife to Novena
Yet arrived workshop early
Left car at Leng Kee
Around town on bicycle I roamed
All of Civic District I combed
Weather wasn't kind today
It's been raining whole day
Since in town with time to spare
Might as well take up the dare
Visited Adelphi 2nd floor
Dared not knock on door
Saw woman putting up a streamer
Must be decorating for Lunar New year
Dared not pose as customer
Heard such people got beaten up, by her?
So quietly a photo I took
And she didn't even give me one look.


