When You Have No Shoes (2)

Do you remember this post which I wrote more than 3 years ago? It is about a foreign domestic worker whom I met in my block's lift. Her footwear had given way and she was making her way home barefooted.

Well, last Sunday the same thing happened again. No, I didn't meet another woman whose footwear was spoilt. This time, one of the pair of sandals I was wearing decided that its time was up:


I was stranded somewhere in wilderness of Marine Parade Central and was left with little choice but to drag my right foot along with the broken sandal when I walked. (Trust me, you'll never realise how far away the nearest shoe shop is until you are forced to walk this way. Although the shop is barely 100 feet away, it seems more like a mile.) I had to endure curious stares from passers-by. Stares were still alright but two young ladies even had the audacity to giggle to each other on seeing me in this predicament. How come nobody was kind enough to offer me a hand slipper in a time of need like this? Talk about working towards being a gracious society! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Frankly, I think we are a long way off.


After a literally dragging long time, I finally arrived at the shoe store. At $4.90 a pair of flimsy slippers, they were probably overpriced. But then when you are in my broken sandal shoes, you will realise that you do not have any bargaining power at all. So I reluctantly paid up without putting up any fight.

I was just glad that I wasn't climbing Mount Kinabalu when my footwear broke.

Jack Neo Admits Affair With Model

I was shocked to read about Jack Neo having an extra-marital affair with a 22-year-old girl by the name of Wendy Chong - read articles here and here.

Jack made a name for himself as Singapore most successful film-maker with his first film Money No Enough in 1998. He even earned a mention by the then Prime Minister Mr Goh Chok Tong in his National Day Rally Speech on 18 August 2002:

Why not be like Jack Neo? He has applied his creative energy to produce three movies. Two of them were highly successful ? "Money No Enough" and "I Not Stupid". I watched "I Not Stupid". I can understand why it touched many parents' heart. My wife liked it so much that she watched it three times. She felt that Jack Neo deserved a National Day award. But I told her, "Two No Enough"!

Indeed, in 2004 he became the first local filmmaker to be honoured with a National Day Award. In the following year, he won the Cultural Medallion by the National Arts Council (NAC), the highest art and cultural award in the nation.

All these years, the public's impression of Jack is that he is a model husband who will not stray in marriage. In fact, Jack himself told The New Paper in a 1996 interview that it was too difficult to have a secret affair:

My philosophy on an affair: I have no time for it. If you want to look for a secret lover, you got to pay for it, not in terms of money but something more valuable - time. You got to make lovey-dovey phone calls, go pak-tor (dating), spend time making yourself look good for the woman. (Sigh) Too difficult for me, lah.

Now let me try to interprete the real meaning behind the sentences in the preceding paragraph:

Jack: I have no time for it.
Meaning: You will find time if you take her along on overseas working trips.

Jack: You got to make lovey-dovey phone calls
Meaning: SMS also can

Jack: Go pak-tor
Meaning: See movie Lucky Star also same same

Jack: Spend time making yourself look good for the woman.
Meaning: Actually, I look quite good already. With or without the clothes. Maybe better without.

I remember the dialogue in one of Jack Neo's movie (can't remember which one) said something like this:

偷吃要记得擦嘴巴

Translated, it means "when you steal a bite (=stray), remember to wipe your mouth clean (=remove all incriminating evidence)". Tsk, tsk, tsk, talk about dishing out advice which you don't follow yourself. Seems like Jack forgot to follow that golden rule.

They say that marriages go through the seven year itch. Wah, Jack is 20 years late - he is married for 27 years already. Maybe it is because his name Liang Zhi Qiang 梁智强 has the same hanyu pinyin as 两支枪 which means "have 2 guns". No wonder for him "that one no enough".

And I am not withholding any admonition for the woman in the story either. No, not Madam Irene Kng (Jack's wife) who is the real victim but Wendy Chong. The latter said that she just wanted people to know that "(Jack Neo) may say that he loves me, but the next moment, he lies to me".

Hello young woman, is lying more severe a crime than being a third party to a marriage? I certainly don't think so. And whoever invited reporters and photographers to come along for the meeting in Crowne Plaza hotel definitely had an ulterior motive.

Why not be like Jack Neo? Do be careful where you apply your creative energy though.

But alas, Jack seems to be playing Tiger Woods too. Aw come on, that girl is young enough to be your daughter, okay? What do you have to say? That you are human too and are prone to making mistakes just like all of us? Sigh, I just hope that this whole episode didn't actually happen but is only a publicity stunt for your current movie, aptly titled Being Human. But then, it is too early for an April Fool's joke, isn't it? Aiyah never mind lah, you can always make good use of this third-party first-hand experience to make your next "social issue" movie.

Who knows? You could even earn another mention in this year's National Day Rally Speech. If this happens, I hope it is for the right reason. I wish you well.

Dark Secrets Of Apprenticeship - "Money See Monkey Do" - By Peter Chan

Foreword by Victor Koo

In this post, my friend Peter Chan talks about the oldest profession in the world. Yes, even for this topic, Singapore has its heritage too. And it goes back much more than the 30 years in this true story, I can assure you that. Yet nothing much has changed through the years. Basically, it is a commercial transaction, i.e. money for sex. No prizes for guessing which gender offers what.

Prostitution is legal in Singapore, provided it is licensed. It is probably easier to control and track STIs that way. There is even empirical evidence that sexual crimes are moderated because horny men have an outlet for satisfying their innate carnal desires.

The phrase in the title, “Money See, Monkey Do” is not a typographical error. It is a deliberate play of words by Peter - one party sees the money and then does the monkey trick. It is all mimicking or acting. Little or no feelings involved, usually. Maybe lust on the man’s part. (“Part” here means “role” and not any physical organ, so make no mistake about that.) As for feelings, there are usually none, not even for the men.

Because Peter likes to use Cantonese phrases in his articles (to add colour and authenticity to his masterpieces and not due to his lack of vocabulary, I am sure), I have included a glossary at the end of the article to benefit readers who do not know Cantonese.

I have also included some relevant photos, mostly taken by me while out on a purely photography trip and ahem… not for any other purpose you are imagining.

This article is so good (the one that follows, not the one above) that it deserves a “foreword” just like that in a good book and I have the honour to write it for Peter. And since no one else is willing to host this taboo subject I also have the honour of featuring Peter’s article on this blog. After all, sex is an incidental topic for this blog. But I have to be very careful not to write a foreword longer than the article itself though.

So enjoy reading Peter’s masterpiece:

I am inspired by YG article: How Keong Saik Road developed into a red-light district to shed more light on this taboo subject. Some 30 years ago, I was approached by a fellow University of Singapore undergraduate friend to help with her Sociology Hons. academic thesis. It was a difficult topic considering she was the “kwai” type but I could detect that she carried early indications of a passionate and future social activist.

At that time, her only link with the topic was her cousin who worked as a social escort with a very well-known social escort agency called “My Fair Lady”, whose office was at the old Heeren Building down in Orchard Road. Her cousin ably connected us with a number of people but my friend needed someone to accompany her on those face-to-face interviews and to ask those difficult questions only a man would know better. I had in me plenty of “curious genes”, the sort who wishes to know about the unpublicized. The other reason for helping out was because I was “in-between” jobs as it was a very difficult time for Social Science graduates to find employment. Now I continue the story where YG stopped.

My friend used a simple closed-ended questionnaire; the first-cut I felt would not get us anywhere. She could think of only 5 questions to ask and focused on the social demographics and “Why you want to enter this profession?” I advised her to create plenty of open-ended questions (because we didn’t have any literatures or clues as to what intelligent questions should be asked) in order to produce a good thesis (see I got the makings of a future market researcher. Hehehe). So we headed to places such as Keong Saik Street, Lorong 18 Geylang, the cabarets at Golden Million@Peninsular Hotel, Multi-Storey Carpark and Datuk Rajah@ The Great Eastern Hotel (now Hotel Windsor) - three of the largest known cabarets at that time – and “Top 10” a discotheque at Orchard Tower. We had to finish all interviews by October for her to submit her thesis the following January. We needed a sample size of about 60 respondents. Remember this was the mid-70s and there was a stigma attached to somebody in this trade. It was not easy to obtain tightly held information and my friend knew it too well that ending up with one category of workers could skew the research findings.

Now I know there are 3 categories of sex workers; licensed prostitutes who operate in a fixed geographical area, hostesses in night clubs and escorts who have a main job but occasionally make side incomes when necessary, and street walkers who are not confined to a specific geographical area. There are many things one can talk about but due to space constraint, I confine it to licensed prostitutes.

What was most informative for me was to understand the “period of apprenticeship” and how to make the client happy. Like any other industry, to be a successful worker one had to go through a period of apprenticeship; how short or long that depended on how fast one learned the skills. But there was no such thing as a “stupid worker” who couldn’t learn anything.

The most important skill was personal grooming to make one more “saleable”. First stop was the dressing and a good fashion sense meant wearing low-cut tank-tops, mini-skirts, push-up/wired bras but no jeans. Of course if one had a 36” C cup and a slim waist of less than 25”, you were lucky because body-hugging material (no black colours for dress; black was for panties) would have made you easily stand out from the competition. “Never dress too old or older than your age” was a wise line I recalled from one interview session. One thing though, Brazilian Waxing to remove unsightly hairs was an unheard procedure in the 1970s. Most workers manipulated their skin condition to “fit” the trade. The means of manipulation included maintaining the smoothness of their skin by using good-quality moisturizers and cosmetics; only Asian brands for Asian girls, so brands like POLA Cosmetics and Shiseido were preferred over Max Factor. Not surprising, “pakor foochok” was a favorite dessert consumed by the girls.

“More bang for the Bucks” required the licensed workers to “squeeze the customer dry” on quiet days. How was this achieved? One answer we got: “Prolong the period of foreplay so the customer would take more than twenty minutes to orgasm and had to pay for the additional time block”. Sometimes the worker pretended that a particular customer was her first client for the day. A crucial skill was on the bed itself; often clients paid more than the agreed price because of the perceived satisfaction when she “talked dirty”, comparing and praising the size of the private part, “doing all positions” and faking orgasm. Most times clients could not differentiate between KY cream and natural wetness, according to one respondent.

Supposedly a first-time worker felt shy about handling a male customer, no problem. We were very shocked to know that there were classroom sessions conducted whereby a male “shifu” would demonstrate to all the girls how to make the “shifu” happy. All the girls had hands-on lessons mind you. The lessons taught the correct techniques for BJ, HJ and (powder or oil) body massage. These were paid lessons and cost not less than S$300 per person. As a reward the “shifu” would hand-out red packets to the best performing student.

Learning the “tag-team” (“Tar Mah”) skill was left to the “Ka Cheh” who taught junior during the actual session itself; something like Monkey See Monkey Do or rather, Money See Monkey Do. What is “tag-team” for the uninitiated? It is a threesome where 2 females are booked for one session and the client pays for each person as if he booked for a single sex partner. For example if you booked for a S$150 girl and you ordered two, you ended paying $300 plus tips for a 30 min session and not 60 minutes. In a nutshell, if you have preference for wild fun, get prepared to burn big notes. In a “tag-team”, no coercion is applied to team-up if one of the workers didn’t feel like doing it; so it was down to individual comfort levels and personalities. We were told this was where the juniors pick-up newer skills or remedy their weakness by observing the “Ka Cheh”.

First-time licensed workers had an estimated “value” (price) tagged on them by their agents or pimps. The “value” was predominantly based on perceived attractiveness/age, “shifu inputs” and customer compliments. However workers were also subjected to reviews with most declining in value after one year unless she was a “Hung Pai”. Prices started at S$80, S$100 and S$150 per shot for Chinese girls; high prices commensurate with less than a year of experience, those of West Malaysian origin and those very “pak shuet shuet” from Tanah Ratah, Perak. We knew of one respondent who earned almost S$15,000 a month because she had great credentials from her fellow customers; she was a “Hung Pai”. For those who did very well in the trade, their investments went into purchasing gold jewellery (never diamonds), ladies Rolexes and the rest into FDs.

Licensed workers were more careful over money matters than their counterparts in the health centers who offered illegal services. The former seldom borrow against “future earnings” nor recklessly gambled away their hard-earned savings at Genting Highlands or the race track. Many told of their future plan when they exited the trade. Unfortunately marriage was not in the plans. The thesis found many Malaysian sex workers preferred to establish a beauty salon back home, keeping their dark secrets in Singapore away from other hometown folks. Sometimes, forgetfulness breeds happiness and secrets are best burned with their holders.

Cantonese was the lingua franca of the licensed workers and communicating in a language other than Cantonese was considered disrespectful to the elders and other actors of the industry; .e.g. the drivers who send/pickup the girls from various houses in the lorongs and “Sum Ku” the supervisor of the brothel. The girls in Keong Saik only need to walk from one block to another from their rented rooms in People’s Park.

It was a practice to always tip “Sum Ku” handsomely. Unlike places like Bangkok or Manila where the customer can check out and select the girls “inside the fish bowl”, in Geylang and Keong Saik Street you don’t get to see the “goods”. On some days your favorite girl could be “yau sek” or “chou gan gung” and you are running out of patience waiting. “This is where “Sum Ku” is also so important to the customer because she could visualize the kind of girls most suited to each customer’s taste – you just tell her what kind of action you need, she has a memory bank of which licensed worker can do it. “Sum Ku” could literally roll-out the names of the licensed workers – Betty, Ling Ling or Mimi - and their house telephone numbers to call. After what has been said, is there any truth to a common belief that Cantonese girls make the best mistresses?

Because of the social stigma, the only friends they knew were the people connected with the trade itself. They were united because of their dependency on each other whilst facing cold stares and hostility from others. There was also the dilemma because they live in an Asian society which is conservative, yet at the same time a society that endorses erotic entertainment.

In Singapore, the authorities have de-politicised public debates over the existence of the industry by the enactment of laws. The laws ensure that the industry operates in a confined location sanctioned by the authorities and always under the radar of the anti-vice department. Legalised sex workers need to carry the Yellow Card and undergo regular medical check-up at the Department of STI Control in Kelantan Lane. There are legislations for the protection of women, so there is no evidence that women cannot leave the trade because of bondage, or employing under-aged girls.

Glossary of terms

chou gan gung - doing work, performing another assignment

hung pai - literally “red card”, a very popular girl who is everyone’s favorite

ka cheh - elder sister

kwai - goody-two-shoes type or well-behaved

pak shuet shuet - white as snow (of complexion)

pakor foochok - gingko nuts and dry soya sticks (usually boiled to make a dessert)

shifu - “old master”, someone (usually a man) who is a subject expert

sum ku - “third aunt” (address for an elderly woman)

tar mah - doing a double

yau sek - literally “rest day” or “day-off”. However in this business, it is a commonly used euphemism for the girl who is having “that time of the month”. (Prostitutes do not have official rest days.)

HJ, BJ, KY - Sorry, you have to find out yourself what these acronyms stand for because if you don’t already know, then you are probably too young to know. I can safely tell you that FD stands for Fixed Deposit though.)

STI - This one you should know, whatever your age. It stands for “sexually transmitted infections”. You get it from an infected partner whom you have had sex with. Often the infected person is seen by others as being promiscuous but there are actually innocent victims too.

Further Reading:

1. Singapore’s Growing Sex Trade

2. Secret Singapore

F*ck Fork in the road - Teck Lim Road on the left and Keong Saik Road on the right.

Other legitimate businesses on Keong Saik Road.

But somehow, other businesses on this road always have names or numbers with a sexual connotation. They talk about cocks…

Even hotels…
have numbers…

that are suggestive

Some like No 9 are on the ground floor

No 4 is on the ground floor too but 4B is on the 3rd storey

Don’t pray pray, this old man can still do it. (Climb the stairs that is, what were you thinking?)

I swear this man is innocent. I witnessed him going in to deliver newspaper and he came out in 1 minute. Not a case of premature ejaculation.

Over at Geylang, things seem quiet on a weekday afternoon. But if you look hard enough, you can still find some on-going activity.

A place for lion dance in the day and some other kind of dance at night.

The number 30 is displayed on something that looks like a dice. Perhaps to warn you that this is a dicey activity.

Some "operate in a fixed geographical area" like just a street corner to stand…

While some are mobile…

And can afford life’s little luxuries.

Religion And Alcohol Do Not Mix?

You might have recently read about the Buddha Bar in Jakarta being the scene of almost weekly protests from enraged Buddhists who alleged that the business was insulting their religion. Now you will never find that happening in Singapore. I don't mean that you can never find alcohol in a religious place in Singapore but rather, if it happens here, there won't be any protests at all. After all, Singaporeans have a high level of religious tolerance although they may not have the same degree of alcohol tolerance, at least in the eyes of the authorities. Besides, protests are illegal in Singapore.

YG recently blogged about a Chinese temple which served free Chinese tea here. Nothing surprising about that. In July 2007, I passed by another Chinese temple and saw nothing unusual about it either:


However when I revisited the temple again in November last year, I noticed that there was a bar of sorts set up within the temple's premises:


The sign outside said "Cafe". I did not verify whether the cafe actually served alcoholic drinks or not but at least Wikipedia tells me that "Happy Hour" is a marketing term for a period of time in which a restaurant or bar offers discounts on alcoholic drinks, such as beer, wine and cocktails.

Question:

Is it permissible to serve alcoholic drinks in a place of worship in Singapore?

Religion and alcohol do not mix, or do they?

Can you identify this temple?

Can You Live To 100?

Chun See's mention of this phrase 回头已是百年, literally meaning "when you look back, you are already 100", in this blog entry is indeed timely.

You see, I just came back from the 100th birthday celebration of my paternal aunt. The celebration was held at a posh Chinese restaurant on the 33rd floor of OCBC Centre. Below is the beautiful night scenery of the city as viewed from the restaurant. It is certainly no mean feat that Singapore managed to achieve this level of development in just over 40 years.



This bit of information is especially dedicated to my friend Walter - yes, there was sharksfin on the menu and there was no MC Hammer(head) to give my bowl of sharksfin to. So I not only touched the sharksfin but I ate it. Shucks, now I am wrecked with guilt.


I remember more than 40 years ago, my aunt was a peddlar selling cloth in a Chinatown backlane. My mum brought me to her stall one morning. Her colourful wares, wrapped tidily around paper rolls (for 5-foot-wide cloth) and flat wooden frames (for 3-foot-wide cloth), were placed neatly on a groundsheet on the floor. She had no dearth of customers. Aunties would drop by her stall to buy a few yards of cloth to make their own clothes like many families do in those days. When the day is over, she would load all her cloth on a rickety cart and then push it to a nearby place where she would store them for the night.

She was married to my 7th uncle who passed away a few years ago at the age of more than 90. In comparison, my father who ranked 8th in the family died in 1993 at 82 while my mum joined him 10 years later at 83. Even then, I consider my parents to have lived fairly long lives. Yet, if the government's proposed annuity payout from age 85 onwards should go through, even my parents would not have lived long enough to benefit from it.

Let's face it. How many of us can expect to live till the grand old age of 100?


Centenarians like the "110-year young" Teresa Hsu and my aunt are more the exception rather than the norm. Singaporeans born between 1995-2000 can expect to live till only 77 years' old. Okay, it might have gone up to 80 by now but that is still a long way off 100.

MM Lee, who is turning 85 this year, recently revealed his secret for a long life - stay mentally and physically active as one ages. I would like to add some rather obvious points which MM Lee himself has made at one time or another, i.e. have a healthy lifestyle - eat carefully, exercise regularly and sleep properly.

I don't mind living to 100. But besides having a long life, the importance of having a good quality of life cannot be overstated. It is no use being alive but spending your days bedridden or immobile.

Do you think you could live to 100? And how would you like to live it?

Hamish Brown's 5 Colourful Things

Hamish Brown is one of the radio DJs whom I admire. He is humorous and professional (well, usually). I love to listen to his "five things" every morning at about 7.50 am while driving to work.

Yesterday morning, he had "five things Confucius say". Gosh, my memory must be failing me because out of five things, I could only remember two. Which two? Well, I shall not make the mistake of repeating them here as this is a family blog. If you are interested in them, visit this page and look for the two sayings starting with "foolish man give wife grand piano..." and "panties not best things on earth..."

Do not be mistaken. I am not complaining as I am not so uptight. In fact, I had a good laugh yesterday morning. I thoroughly enjoyed the jokes which I find quite harmless. Now I have one more thing to admire about Hamish Brown - his guts.

Yes, I know that the Internet has far far worse content than that. But somehow, national radio is different. It has a "radio programme code" which must not be breached. After all, wasn't Mediacorp fined $5,000 recently for Fly Dutchman/Glenn Ong's "sex talk"? A few years ago, Sheikh Haikel was even fired from his job at Perfect 10.

Let's see if Hamish Brown's 5 colourful things will get him into trouble this time. I certainly hope not as he was only repeating what is available widely on the Internet. But then on the Internet, the surfer chooses to visit those sites, just like you've chosen to come and read my blog. (By that, I am not saying whether my blog is desirable or not. The reader makes that judgement.) So it's strictly a personal choice - if you don't like it, you can always choose not to read it - the same principle which I apply myself.

However in contrast, radio contents are pushed down to the listener before he/she has a chance to switch the radio off or switch channels. Moreover, radio reaches a very wide audience - both young and old, men and women, open and conservative. The contents presented on radio (and TV) intrudes into our personal space, whether we like it or not.

Do tell me your opinion about such jokes being aired on national radio. Do you approve or disapprove?

What Games Are Our Children Playing Nowadays?

Just below the HDB block where I am living, there is a playground. There are the usual playground equipment for climbing and swinging, as well as kiddy rides.


As can be expected, many young children can be found playing there during the late afternoon when the weather is cooler.

I usually have to pass by this playground on the way to the neighbourhood market or food centre.

Yesterday, I was cycling to the market when I saw a little box on the ramp (arrowed):


It looked quite new. At first I thought it was a box of toothbrushes which someone had dropped. I took a closer look:


Even closer:


Closer still:


Alamak! The immediate thoughts that ran through my mind were: What was a pregnancy test kit doing near a children's playground? Could it have been used by an underaged but over-developed girl who also frequented the playground for other more innocuous games?

I looked around and found this thermometer-like thingy on the grass patch nearby:


I checked the results:


What a relief! She was not pregnant. However, she might not be so lucky next time.

But wait a minute! What if she was a married woman trying to get pregnant? If that is the case, I offer her my sincere apologies even though I am in no way responsible for the test results, whether positive or negative. Whatever the case, how could the user discard the used test kit so carelessly? What if an innocent child picks it up and thinking that it is a thermometer, puts it in his/her mouth? Yucks!!!

Stories about unwed teenage mums abound in Singapore. (Read one here.) In this age of the Internet, bored young girls can find attention in chatrooms where there are no shortage of predators.

So parents, please pay more attention to the games that your children play, lest they end up carrying the baby, literally.


Don't laugh, okay? It has happened here more than once before - the parents didn't know that their unwed daughter was pregnant even AFTER she had given birth!

On that solemn note, Happy New Year everyone!