Meeting An Old Friend 27 Years Later

In late November, I visited Taiwan with my family. We booked the 7-day tour only 10 days before departure. As such, we paid a premium price. For 4 adults and 1 child, we paid a total of $8,130.00 to the tour agency. However, as promised, we did get 5-star hotel accommodation throughout the tour and business-class seats on the return trip. Taking that into consideration and that it was super-peak holiday season, I guess that the tour price was fairly reasonable.

This was in fact my third visit to the island - my previous 2 visits were in 1980 and 1981, both official trips. During the first visit, I stayed for 3 months together with 3 other colleagues. A 55-year-old man was our mentor. I shall name him MX here.

The very handsome 55-year-old MX

Since we left Taiwan, MX had never failed to send us Christmas cards every year. Of course, we returned his gesture of friendship by sending him Chinese New Year cards yearly as well.

I longed to meet him again on this trip. I got his latest postal address but the phone number that I had was very old. I tried calling him several times about a week before my departure - there was ringing each time but nobody ever answered. I feared the worst.

I decided to write him a letter 4 days before departure, hoping that the letter would reach him before I did. I was very much relieved when indeed he called me one day before my departure. He told me that his phone number had been changed. He would end a meeting early on 25 Nov just to meet up with me. How nice of him!

That night, I skipped the dinner with the tour group. I called MX at around 7 pm to confirm our appointment. Then I took a cab from Parkview Hotel (美伦饭店) in Hualien to his place. The fare for the 10-minute ride was about NT180 each way but I paid the cab drivers NT200 (about S$9.20). The cab driver was not very sure of the way there at first but eventually he found the place after some help over the radio from a colleague.

It was drizzling at that time (and for almost two whole days during that period because of the typhoon). When I arrived, MX was waiting for me below his 5-storey block here:

It was a grey-coloured building which did not look all too new. Here is a photo of the very retro-looking mailboxes:


It was not equipped with a lift. We had to climb the narrow stairway to his unit on the 4th floor.

Despite his age of 82, MX did not show any signs of it. (It must have been the benefit of repeatedly climbing 4 flights of stairs daily that contributed to his health. I am not joking, he even walks faster than me. I will not be surprised at all if he could outlive me.) To keep healthy, MX woke up early each day to do morning exercises. He even proudly showed me his scooter which he still rode (and it's a "Sport" model, don't pray pray okay?):


The apartment in which MX lived alone was simply furnished. There were some unsightly brown stains on the wallpaper which obviously had seen better days. MX's daughter, the elder of two children, was married and residing near New York. His son was also married and stayed in Taipei. The families each had two children, making MX a grandfather of 4.

There were photos of the two families taken with MX displayed in the cabinet. With MX's permission, I took photos of the 2 families.

Luckily, I had the foresight to bring along my camera stand and managed to take a snapshop with MX:

I presented MX with 2 copies of the stamp book which I co-authored. MX could not read English but he said that he could look at the pictures:

I also gave him 2 pre-1985 one-dollar coins (the ones with the large stone-lion design), 2 fish-design 20-cent coins and a Singapu-lah book (新加坡啦) comic satirical book which he promised he would read:


He told me that his apartment was once broken into and the thief stole the Singapore coin sets which we gave him previously. I asked him what was the meeting which he ended early in order to meet me. He said that it was a party meeting and that he was still active in party politics. He was pro-Mah Ying Jiu (马英九).

After that, we went to a restaurant nearby to have steamboat set dinner. The waitress served each of us a large plate filled with raw vegetables and mixed food:


"那就够了" (That would be enough), I told the waitress in Mandarin. Much to my bewilderment, she insisted that we each ordered a meat. It seemed like it was needed to complete the set. So I ordered sliced fish and MX had sliced pork.

We ate and talked about the good old times like what had changed and who had passed on. Dinner ended at almost 10 pm and we walked back to his apartment in the rain. I called the same cab company to send a cab over to pick me up in 10 minutes. I shook hands with MX and gave him a hug. He said that he would like to visit Singapore sometime. I told him not to let us wait too long.

I didn't tell him this but I certainly hope that I don't have to wait another 27 years for our next meeting.

I'll Never Receive Your Wedding Invitation Then?

Something funny happened to me yesterday. First, I received an sms from my service provider informing me of a missed call:


The number was not familiar to me so I dialled it on my mobile phone to check its identity. (When you dial a number that is already saved in the address book of your phone, the person's name will be displayed.) Ah, so it was A, someone whom I've not contacted for some time. Immediately after A's identity was displayed on my phone, I aborted the call and typed the following sms:


Not long after the above sms was sent, I received the following sms reply from A:


It was then that I realised that I've earlier forgotten to lock the keypad of my phone. I must have accidentally pressed the buttons that dialled A's number. So I sent another sms to A to apologise and also to tease her:


It was obvious that A didn't have my number saved in her phone. Well, I am not the least offended by that because when people exchange phone numbers, it does not necessarily mean that they must go into each other's phone books. When I change my mobile phone, I will sometimes tidy up the phone book by deleting away contacts whom I seldom call. So I can perfectly understand if my number was not listed in A's phone book.

However, I did not hear from A after the last sms. I am beginning to wonder why A did not reply? Do you think she was embarrassed by my last sms? Was what I said "too much"? Oh no, did I offend someone again? Darn!

Losing Someone Over Small Stuff (2)

(This is a continuation of an earlier post.)

A satellite photo of the bungalow which CL lived in.

One day some 25 years ago, CL said to me, "My brother has a Canon AE-1 SLR camera with 28-85 mm Vivitar lens which he doesn't use anymore. He would like to sell it for $450, complete with camera bag. He bought everything new for over $800 a few years ago. You can try out the camera for one week. If you don't like it, just return it to me."

As instructed, I took the camera home and tried it out for one week. One week later, I was not so sure about buying the camera so I brought everything back to CL.

"But I already told my brother that I have sold it to you", CL said.

"What!!!???" I exclaimed. ($450 may seem paltry now but in those days, it was two whole months of my NS pay!)

I took everything back home and thought about the whole incident seriously for one whole day. The next day I went to see CL again at his bungalow. I had with me a wad of $50 notes. I handed to him 9 pieces of the notes. "Please count the money", I said. CL did as told without saying a word. After he counted the money, I turned and walked away, also without saying anything further. In actual fact, I was trying hard to control my emotions. That was the last time I spoke to CL.

Many years later, I saw a photo of CL and his young son in a Lifestyle magazine (published by NTUC Media Co-operative Ltd). They won a 'Like Father Like Son' contest. I hope that it is only in looks the son took after his father, not his scheming ways. One Sunday morning a few years ago, I saw CL again together with his son who had grown much taller then as compared to the little boy in the contest photo. They were eating the famous prawn noodles in a coffeeshop in Onan Road. (The stall has since moved to Carpmael Road nearby.) My father-in-law and I were also having the prawn noodles for breakfast. Since the coffeeshop was quite small, CL should have noticed my presence just like I noticed his. However, we both pretended we didn't see each other. It was a case of two look at two but with eyes that cannot see. (My dear blogo-god-daughter Elaine told me that she had a similar experience a few weeks ago. Dear, I can understand how you felt then. And now you'll understand why I know quite a bit about cameras too.)

It has been a quarter of a century ago since this unhappy incident happened but I could still remember the details very clearly. It is as if the details were permanently etched in my memory. Perhaps, it was just unfortunate that e-auctions were unheard of 25 years ago. Otherwise, I don't think CL would have been so desperate to force-sell the camera to me and I wouldn't have been an unwilling owner of my first SLR camera. If Yahoo Auctions and Ebay were available then, CL could have easily found another victim willing buyer for his brother's camera.

It was a sad story, at least for me. It hurts me even today to think that CL was prepared to sacrifice our close friendship just to get rid of a camera. As for me, I unexpectedly gained a camera as well as a valuable lesson. Yet, I consider it a lose-lose situation for both of us because I too lost a good friend in the process.

Now, looking back at this incident, I think that our friendship would have ended anyway. If I had insisted on returning the camera to CL, he would have ended the friendship anyway. The difference is that by paying him $450, I could claim the dubious honour of being the one who broke off the friendship. For me, it is a matter of principle and pride which a monkey has full of.

I recall a memorable quote from CL: "Friends come and go. Only some stay a bit longer." How true! What would be my rejoinder to that quote? "Friends are by choice. Relatives are by chance."

What would you have done in such a situation? Now don't tell me that you wouldn't have accepted the camera for a trial. After hearing how the story panned out, you have the benefit of hindsight which I didn't have at that time.

I would like to end this post with the meaningful lyrics from Glen Campbell's song, Friends:

"Friends are never earned they're a gift from the loving God
And they're precious beyond human evaluation
But you dare not take them for granted or they'll lift away like a smoke
And the warmth of their caring will vanish into the chill of the endless nights
Most of my friends are unknowns they probably won't even rate an obituary
Unless they live and die in a small town
Somewhere where nothing much ever happens
But a few of my friends are big people
They'd made the word ring with laughter down to this string of court
They're famous sensitive talented and their names are household words
And yet they're no more precious in God's eyes or in mine
Than those wonderful nobodys who live and die in small towns
Who is your friend he's someone who warms you with a nod
Or with an unspoken word in hard times when you're hurting beyond words
Who is your friend he's someone who holds you to her breast
And sighs softly into your hair when no other medicine could possibly stop the pain
A friend is someone who clings his glass against yours
Or answers the phone at three in the morning when you're lost
And with a few words of encouragement and concern
Makes you realize that you're not really lost at all
Friends come in both sexes in all shapes and sizes
The most imprtant thing they have in common is their ability
To share with you your most sky splitting joys
Or your deepest most spelling ol' some sorrows for they're all your friends"

Losing Someone Over Small Stuff (1)

The New Paper of 13 Feb 2007 had the following headline:

S'PORE MUM TAKES DAUGHTER TO COURT OVER SALE OF HOUSE. Wins case, but loses daughter. Dies of hypertension 3 days after getting court papers. Mum says...

Inside, a sprightly 80-year old mum (left) recalled with sadness, "I didn't want to fight, but I had no choice... I just wanted my money back. It's a matter of principle..." She was finally awarded an undisclosed amount but she had already lost her daughter and she regretted that she would never have the chance to reconcile with her. Although a house cannot be considered small stuff and the death of the daughter was probably not caused by the law suit but still, it is a sad and depressing story. And they say that blood is thicker than water. It is probably not thick enough in this case.

This incident reminds of an experience I had with someone called CL (no relation to other CLs). The property involved was this one:

Photo by Desmond Wee published in the Straits Times 3 Jan 2007

Another front view of the bungalow

It was a grand neo-Renaissance style bungalow located in the east coast at No. 23, Amber Road. It was designed by Regent Alfred John Bidwell in 1912, the very same architect who designed the 'Grand Old Dame', the world-famous Raffles Hotel:

A new developer, AG Capital, bought the bungalow last year. The company said that "no corporate decision has been adopted" on future plans for the site. Early this year, there was a call to preserve this building by a group of about 20 people who called themselves Historic Architecture Rescue Plan.

Before land reclamation began, the bungalow stood at the seafront. It had an unusual crescent shape to let in as much seabreeze as possible.

Back view of the bungalow - note the crescent shape of the house

In the late 70s, I had meals in that bungalow. I also spent some time listening to music on the upper floor. In those days, CDs had not been invented yet. (MP3 music came much later in the late 90s.) Music was then recorded either on cassette tapes or black vinyl records:

Cassette tapes

Vinyl records

The former were played on tape decks with famous names like Nakamichi, Akai and Teac while the latter were played on turntables spinning at either 33 rpm (revolutions per minute) or 45 rpm. Sought after names in turntables then were Thorens, Audio-Technica and Denon. I was listening to the music of Abba, America, Cliff Richard, Eagles, 'Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young', George Benson and Chuck Mangione.

Do not be mistaken, I wasn't involved in a court battle with my family over the sale of the bungalow. We never owned it. It was my very good NS-mate CL who stayed in it before. I never asked if his family owned it but I think that they probably rented it.

CL and I were extremely close friends. (With all due respect to Chris Sim, I could safely say that I was closer to CL then than I am with Chris now.) His family knew me very well and conversely, mine knew him just as well. We spent most weekends together. Once, his family brought me out on a power boat trip up the Kim Kim River in Johore. We didn't bring along our passports because we didn't intend to land in Johore. Of course, it was still considered as trespassing but the Malaysian Customs was probably more lax then. Our state of relations with our neighbour then was also likely to be better than it is now. CL, his father and his younger brother could all ski very well. They took turns to ski behind the power boat and could execute slalom very gracefully, much to my admiration.

Quite often, we would watch a movie together in town. I remember catching shows like Car Wash, Grease, Every Which Way But Lose, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and some Chinese Kung Fu shows like 18 Bronze Men with him. We even stayed in a chalet together before. Sometimes we went for a swim in the sea at night.

At that time, I was staying in Haig Road - a short distance from Amber Road. With a new chopper bike that I bought, it took me only 10 minutes to cycle to his house:

He would then ride his own bicycle:



We invariably headed towards East Coast Park which was just behind his house:



More often than not, we ended up at Bedok Jetty:


As CL was considered overweight then, there were a few occasions when he jogged while I cycled. We went all the way from Big Splash to Bedok Jetty and back, a distance of at least 10 km. It was no problem for me to cover that distance on my chopper but CL would be perspiring profusely by the time he finished back at Big Splash. He would say that he must have lost at least 2 kg from the jog. "Probably all water", I would tease him as I always do. We often joked with each other and CL was a good joker. I thoroughly enjoyed the times I spent with him.

When I moved to Jalan Bukit Merah in the early 80s, our friendship continued but we seldom cycled together because of the distance between our residences. Not long after that, our friendship ended abruptly because of one minor incident. I was devastated. I was hurt not so much by the ending of our 5-year old friendship but by the manner it ended.

(To be continued.)