A Personal Letter to Elaine Made Public

Dear 干女儿 (GNE), I visited your blog just now. Seems like I can't leave a comment there so I have no choice but to do it here in my own blog. I hope you don't mind.

While feeling rather sad that you are not blogging (temporarily or permanently), I can fully understand and agree with what you have said. I personally also find that blogging didn't seem so fun as 2 years ago when I first started doing it. What brought about this abrupt change to both of us at about the same time, I have no wish to speculate.

Suffice to say, this is what I have observed lately:

1. What started out as "horsing around" (jokes) can easily be turned into personal attacks in a public domain. There is a very fine line between the two;

2. What is meant as "horsing around" can be just as easily interpreted as a personal attack and evoke a vicious counter-attack which you least expect. It depends very much on the comfort level between the two of you. Even for close friends, you may not know exactly where this level is. Don't try to test it;

3. Old jokes are told repeatedly, ad nauseum. So much so that they don't seem funny anymore. Even irritating at times;

4. Some people dictate what you should or should not write. (Do they expect me to send my draft to them for approval first before I publish it? If so, I might as well write for a newspaper.); and

5. Some people use their blogs for innocuous social purpose while others also use them for commercial or even political purposes.

And this is what I have learnt:

1. If you don't want to be flamed, don't flaunt your assets (be they dimples, more erogenous zones, looks, age, sports cars and other properties);

2. Never react adversely and emotionally via the comment box which the whole wide world can read;

3. If you don't like what is written and have the author's personal contact details, send him a private email or sms him/her to say so, politely.

4. Never ever use vulgar words, in whatever language, however abbreviated. People can understand them and they will just reply "I wish you the same".

5. If they ignore your feedback, you can decide not to visit their blog anymore. (There are so many other blogs you can visit.) However, if they respond favorably to your feedback, it's up to you if you want to continue the blogo-relationship.

Disclaimer: Quite different from my other blog posts, this is a serious article and it is not directed at anyone in particular. The above pointers are just my personal observations and suggested solutions. They may be right or wrong and I am not passing judgement here. Please feel free to add your comments and opinions in my comment box but I will appreciate that no personal attacks on anyone or old wisecracks be made, at least for this post.

Six Weird Things About Me

I've been tagged by Noel to do this meme.

1. I don't dig my nose in my car but I shave in it (my car, not my nose that is, LOL).

No, not with shaving foam and razor. (What, you think I am Mr Bean ah?) I am a very busy executive, you know? Besides, with all the time I spent blogging, especially mindless memes like this one, I always wake up too late to shave in the toilet so I end up shaving in the car. But if shaving in the car is weird, why did they come up with a product like that in the first place?

2. According to my friends who've since become my enemies, I have weird hands.

But frankly, I don't know what so weird about my hands. They also have 5 fingers each what. Oh you mean you see one hand much smaller than the other, is it? Aiyah, then you obviously don't know what is the meaning of perspective in art.

3. According to my enemies friends, I also have weird feet.

Again, what's so weird about my feet? They look different from each other? Of course what, abaden? They are left foot and right foot, for goodness sake. Don't you know that a man's left side of the face is also a little different from his right? Don't believe me? Just photoshop half of your face, say left (i.e. mask out the right side), make a mirror copy of the left, then paste the mirror copy as your right face. I bet you can't even recognise yourself, okay? Jisuz, even coconuts come in different sizes.

Still stubbornly refuse to get my point? (This phrase is also by courtesy of Chun See, just like his newly-coined OAMSN = on a more serious note.) Let me show you what I am trying to say by doing a little experiment.

(The subject of my earlier experiment had voiced dissatisfaction that I had defaced his photo. I am very sorry for any embarassment caused to the subject and I apologise unreservedly for the mistake. Subject's name has been withheld so that he cannot be identified. For those who had saved a copy of the doctored photo, you are advised to destroy it immediately.)

For the same experiment, I have replaced the earlier photo with a more deserving subject:

I think a lot of people would like to see the new subject cut up into a hundred pieces, not just halved. So there shouldn't be any problem with this one, I hope. Although for some unknown reason, the effect is not as great or as funny as the earlier one, you still can see the differences here:

The left photo was reconstructed using 2 right halves of subject's face while the right photo was reconstructed using 2 left halves of his face. Notice that the eyes, nose, mouth, ears and even the face shape are different between the two photos. A point proven beyond all reasonable doubt.

4. I am comfortable with any footwear, even if they don't come in a pair. So long as I have shoes, I don't complain.

I normally don't do that. However, on this occasion, I did it for a very good reason. You see, my family was at the bowling alley at NSRCC in Changi Coast Rd. After each of us had exchanged our left shoe for a pair of bowling shoes, I realised that my socks were in the car. So I borrowed my son's right sandal and wore it on my left foot. I had my own shoe on my right foot. Then I walked to my car to get my socks.

5. I have a pair of dimples (not to mention red luscious lips).

Don't they make me look like a cute Cabbage Patch doll?

Hmm... I must ask my wife if she married me because of my dimples, haha.

6. Yes, I still love Mr Bean shows. (Stop sniggering, Chris.) It's no shame if I'm capable of appreciating Mr Bean's humour. I know it's slapstick comedy but Mr Bean makes me feel so good when he seems to have stranger hands than my own. And no cute dimples too. LOL.

And now for the victims - I am tagging the following 6 people to do this meme:

Etel
Chris
Huiqi
Shilpa
Firehorse
Tigerfish
Frannxis

Oh is that 7 people? I can't help it if I got so many blogger friends mah, hehe. One of you is the reserve tag. (Did I hear all of you wanting to be the reserve? Too bad, only one of you can drop out, haha.)

When Will The Shooting Stop?

Last Monday someone shot to notoriety
Shot as in literally
His surname was Cho
He hailed from Seoul

His name was Seung Hui
Shocking act in a country most free
At Virginia Tech University
Where he was reading an English degree

Thirty two innocent people killed
America's worst school shooting it was billed
Pumped a bullet into own head
Rather than let the law catch up instead

Why the senseless killing
Was it an act willing
The way that he planned it
Pre-meditated is my verdict

Either that
Or he was mad
But now the question in mind
Is why a madman was not confined

It has happened many times before
In other campuses I recall
Their gun law seems non-existent
Right to own one is in the Constitution

Why is that so
I have no wish to know
What I'm asking those at the top
Is when will the shooting stop

Are you waiting for another madman to kill
(Happen again I am sure it will)
Before you review your gun law
Which now clearly has its flaw

Buying a gun is so easy
Whereas in my country
Getting chewing gum is harder
Can only smuggle a little from across the border

Here if you have a gun in your hand
Then you are either a policeman
Or a robber or intend to be
Who'll go on a crime spree

Background checks you may make
On sane gun buyers before a sale you take
But what if the buyer goes crazy
After the gun's been sold already?

Or the father who doesn't keep it properly
And his toddler lays hands on it playfully
Ends up shooting his sibling dead
I'd really rather the father be shot instead

Or when a driver loses his cool
Over a road rage incident perpetrated by a fool
Reaches for the gun under the seat
And kills a fellow motorist in a moment of the heat

Would you send a child to that country
To get that elusive degree
When he might get it only
If at all posthumously

My thoughts and sadness go to the departed
And their families who are most hurt
It is certainly difficult to get over
Let's just pray that it will not happen again ever