20 March 2007

Chingrish

Last Sunday, I bought something from a shop in my neighbourhood. It cost $1.20 and came in a box. I did a double take when I looked at the words printed on the box. At first, it didn't look like English:


On closer inspection, I realised it was indeed English. Some people call it Engrish while I prefer to call it Chingrish since it is "English from a China perspective".

I have blogged about Chingrish before here and there but never before has it been this atrocious. For the previous cases, at least you knew what the product was. For this case, I bet you can't even identify it just by reading the box alone.

Before Chris again accuses this proud monkey of thinking that he's always right, I would like to prove it this time. So I would like to play a little guessing game with you. You make a guess as to what product this might be. I will not respond until this weekend when I will reveal the answer. Unlike Chun See who usually disqualifies people aged above 40 from participating in his guessing games, I open mine to anyone aged from 9 to 90. My only request to those who have bought this product before and already know the answer - please refrain from letting the cat out of the bag and spoiling the fun for others.

Since this is a virtual game, you will be rewarded with virtual mystery prizes if your guess is right or quite close. (Quit thinking you'll get rich by doing this, will you? Go buy 4D and Toto instead.) Check back for results this weekend. Happy guessing and have fun.

35 comments:

Chris said...

Er.... some kinda cheap imitation Viagra? Which you have been using ever since you crossed the half-century mark?

I kid you of course... wahahaha...
Hmmm.... it says "cleanse", and "400s holes", and "deodolization" (deodorization?). I know I know!! (very enthusiastic). A kind of spray for the Monkey's armpits?

Where's my prize??!!

Victor said...

Chris - Although I said that I would not respond, you always have a way of luring the monkey out.

I think I should refine the rules. Only ONE guess per person is allowed and anonymous guesses are invalid.

Viagra? For $1.20 per box? Even the chiong (imitation) ones from Cheena are not so cheap, okay?

And deodorant for a monkey? PLEEEEZ. Our body odour is a natural turn-on for the opposite sex, okay? Who needs deodorant? Also not so cheap.

Now you've more than used up your chances... Next please.

acroamatic said...

You bought... a laxative?

lam chun see said...

Wash basin filter

Victor said...

Kenneth & Chun See - Thanks for your guesses.

Jayne - I knew you would interprete "400 S HOLE" that way, haha. Hey why are you scolding me that word hah? I buy it not because I am one, okay?

Next, please.

Shilpa. said...

"Made water to louch produce the most touching"?? Hahaha, got products out there that give you the urge to molest ppl arh? Hahahaha, can't take it!! Lemme guess, is this some herbal tex mix?

fr said...

something to put in the toilet bowl?

eastcoastlife said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shilpa. said...

alamak, I meant to say "tea" mix, not "tex" mix!

Anon1 said...

It is a refrigerator odor remover?

Chris said...

Shilpa - For a moment I tot u meant "sex" mix. What on earth is that? Goodness. This is hilarious.

Victor - we can't take this suspense anymore... What arh?

zephyr said...

Fertilizer

Anonymous said...

Medicated sponge - dawn

Victor said...

Shilpa - Most of us can read through a typo here and there lah, unlike Chris. Molesting? Looks like I have to give a prize for Most Creative Guess, haha.

Jayne - You would probably win hands down the Most Crude Guess Award.

Anon1 - Anon1 is still anonymous, haha. Okay, I pang chan, your submission is accepted.

Chris - You didn't watch the movie "Just Follow Law" ah? This is the Civil Service okay? Very inflexible one. Come back this weekend.

Zephyr & Dawn - Thanks.

Shilpa. said...

Eh Chris, dun be dirty man, haha! Sex mix? Easy, mix with water, then... aiyoh, ne'er mind! Better don't continue!!

tigerfish said...

I laughed till brain seizure and can't guess liow! Must be some kind of odor remover- does not matter toilet bowl, sink or the fridge! AHHhhh..give up!

stanley foo said...

The description of the product looks like it is a antiseptic mouth
wash made in China. Can't bear to read the description from the beginning to the end.

anon1 said...

"Anon1" is an identity.

You've never heard a cat named "meow" meh? Same principle at work.

What is "pang chan"? and how do I italize words, can someone tell me please?

Anonymous said...

Haha a cat named "meow"... I like that! I have a pet hen, her name is Birdie....and yes, she has actually ridden on a bicycle before...

Anonymous said...

That was me by the way - dawn

Victor said...

Thanks to Tigerfish and Stanley for your inputs.

Anon1/meow - "Anon1" is an identity meh? Hmm... weird. "Meow" I have heard before - from a cat lor, haha. "Pang chan" you don't know ah? Then you cannot be a "kucing Singapura" (Singapore cat). It is our colloquial Hokkien for "give chance".

To italize words, just enclose them between [i] and [/i] but remember to replace "[" with "<" and "]" with ">". These are called "HTML tags".

I can't show them here as they are because they will be interpreted by the browser and you won't be able to see the tags but their effects. Do you see the instruction on how to use HTML tags just above this box? The 1st one is for bold, the 2nd one is for italics, while the 3rd one is for providing a HTML link (for advance users because this is slightly more complicated). The first 2 are called "opening tags" for bold and italics respectively. Put a "/" in front of the letter "b" and "i" and you have the respective "closing tags".

Let's try it out:

[i]italics words[/i]

[b]bold words[/b]

If you have replaced [ ] with < > in the above 2 lines, you will see this:

italics words

bold words

Happy experimenting.

Victor said...

Dawn, do you by any chance happen to be Chun See's daughter. His daughter use to take her pet rooster called "Mellow" on bicycle rides around the neighbourhood. (See this post.)

Pardon my asking this question. You see, I have been tricked this way by Zen before. Zen turned out to be Chun See's brother, Chun Chew. Haha.

Anonymous said...

No..I am not his daughter...alamak I am 26!! Yes I read that post b4 dats why I mentioned that mine has also ridden my bike...I am the HARP member....Historical Architecture Rescue Plan...eh...so dun worry, u havn't been tricked.

Victor said...

Haha, yes I remember you, Dawn. So are you all HARPers still HARPing on the old issues, i.e. rescuing the old Cashin bungalow slated for the wrecker's ball? BTW I didn't join HARP because I'm too busy blogging lah. :P

FireHorse said...

Sounds like a toilet bowl cleaner thing to me. The kind you drop in the water tank and each time you flush it cleanses and deodorizes the toilet bowl.
Eh got prize for guessing correct wan or not?

Meow said...

ok, i will make you happy and abandon the "Anon1" identity and from today onwards be known as "Meow". Now you happy? I give you muchee face.

italic words
BOLD words

mmmmmmm ...

Victor said...

Well done, Meow. Now you can also roar, wahahaha.

Firehorse - sure there are prizes. Virtual game winners are rewarded with virtual prizes. Not just one but several. Check back this weekend for results of the competition. Thanks for your input.

Frannxis - Thanks for guessing.(Sorry that I accidentally missed your comment earlier).

Lam Chun See said...

Wow Victor, you have good memory hor. My daughter is 20. She doesn't harp but plays the yang qing. The one in the photo with the rooster is my youngest; now aged 15.

Victor - you better publish your answer soon before we lose interest.

Victor said...

Be patient, Chun See. Only 2 more days to wait. Besides, good virtual prizes take a lot of time to prepare. I am busy preparing them these few days (at home, not in the office hor).

Shilpa. said...

What?! Still must wait 2 days?! Eh, the prize better not be that $1.20 thing, hor? :)

Anonymous said...

Dawn - yes...still harping on 23.Amber Road plus a few new properties. Like the joo chiat shophouses mentioned in today's papers. We flooded Eunice Olsen with emails but have yet to hear anything from her.....

alphabet soup said...

Hmmmm. This is a tricky one. At first reading I thought it must come from another planet but I have analysed this very carefully - and I still have absolutely no idea. Maybe some sort of room deodoriser that freshens the air and kills mould. Huh?

On the Soup du Jour menu today. We'll see how many people order it for lunch??!!

Victor said...

Shilpa - Yes, I am civil servant. Very inflexible one. Just follow law, okay? Better than the $1.20 item - it's free but must spend time preparing it. A lot of love went into the prizes. Hahaha.

Dawn - You are quite an unusual person, so young (at 26, oops, I was told I cannot say a woman's age in my blog) and yet so interesting in old things (buildings and this blog owner). Wahaha.

Alphabet Soup - So fast come one round and back to the letter "T" again ah? (Taking Up The Challenge.) Thanks for giving me the award again. :)

Lord Mangotree said...

My guess;
edible clay!
here is another fine example of chingrish, this one could be deadly.
http://lordmangotree.wordpress.com/2007/10/15/when-the-dragon-roars-will-we-understand/

Victor said...

Lord Mangotree - The answer is given in the next post. If there is such a thing as edible clay, I don't want to eat it. :)