17 March 2007

5 Bloggers I'd Rather Be Stranded With

I was tagged by Jayne to do this post. Her tag was "If you had to live on a deserted island for a year, which 5 bloggers would you bring with you and why?"

Here are the 5 bloggers whom I'd rather be stranded with:

1. Chris

It is obvious why Chris is first on the list. He is my good friend and colleague. Besides being good at cooking and housekeeping, Chris can also compose very nice poems. I presume that he will not have the luxury of his newly bought laptop with him on the island so blogging the poems would be a real problem for him. In any case, the laptop battery would last at most 3 hours on the island and I don't think the deserted island will have hotspots. Yes, hot spots there would be plenty on a tropical island, but not hotspots. Still it should be okay because Chris can write his poems in the sand on the beach. And if he uses a stick to do this, he may not even need to bend down very much, even though the stick may not be very long.

2. Elaine

Elaine is my blogo-god-daughter. What kind of godfather am I if I do not bring her along to live with me on the deserted island? I know it is cruel to do this to her and her sweetheart (another Victor) because it means that they would be separated from each other for one whole year. But hey, they say that absence makes the heart grows fonder. Besides, there is another stand-in Victor to take his place, hehe. Think about it - if a relationship can't last one year's separation, how can it last more than 5 decades in marriage together? Elaine can bake for us during her free time (which means all daylight hours on the deserted island). Talking about that, I better go hunt for a solar-powered oven for Elaine because the island is not expected to have electricity supply.

3. Chun See

You must be surprised why I choose Chun See. Most of the time, he is dead serious. But actually, he can joke if he wants to, although he rarely does it. Best of all, when he does, you won't even know whether he's joking or not. I guess that's why his children say his jokes are lame. Chun See is best loved for his grandfather yesterday's stories. He can tell his stories all day. The best part is that we would have all day to listen to him. In fact, he is so good at telling old-time stories that it feels as if you are experiencing it for yourself. You could almost smell the stench from the Sei Gai Hor (Dead Chicken Canal), as he so vividly describes it. Lastly, Chun See is badly wanted because he has to go catch that wild rabbit to be cooked as lunch in Elaine's solar-powered oven. Because it's his turn to buy lunch... oops. The next meal after the rabbit will be fruits. With Chun See's Jungle Survival Training as an SAF Officer, he can tell us which fruits are poisonous and which are safe to eat.

4. Walter

Walter is an "experienced marketer and publicist", or so he says in his blog. Good, his skills will come in handy on the deserted island. He can hypothesize all he wants on how to bring more visitors to the deserted island so that we won't be so lonely. He can suggest ways to skin and cook the rabbit, making it more appealing and appetizing. And if we have trouble sleeping during cold and windy nights, we can read his many theses on marketing.

5. Jayne

How can I not bring Jayne along to suffer along with us? Being the woman that she is, she can roar all she wants on the deserted island. We just need to plug our ears with some dried leaves or mud because like her, we also like to hear pleasant things. If we are bored, she can entertain us with a circus act using fruits. If we need more, she can teach us how to turn the fruits into toys which would please us to no end. In fact, we might even feel that one year is too short.

As for me, I will just lie under a coconut tree all day long, wondering why the fruits are so small.


Disclaimer: All of the above are tongue-in-cheek and not knife-in-back comments. Take them with a pinch of salt or not at all. If you feel sore, go apply some ointment. Or go to a deserted island to destress.


Shilpa. said...

Hi Victor, I'm Shilpa, your fellow "taggee"! Haha, basket, it's 1 am here, and it wasn't a good idea reading your post 'cos I just couldn't contain my pontianak laughter! Idiot!

Sorry I mistook you for Victor Khoo, ok? I doubt you have bad enough taste to go for that "poodle" hairdo, mwahaha!! Wah lau, did that live show really end that way? Kids these days just aren't what they used to be, huh? :)

Lam Chun See said...

You lazy monkey. Shouldn't you be plucking the coconuts for us to enjoy!

Chris said...

No coconuts? Simple, we'll juz make coconut juice out of you lor.

Victor said...

Shilpa - Thanks for visiting my blog. I had a browse through yours too. So you are another overseas Singaporean flogger. Your Sindhi food looks very interesting. I like to eat Samosas.

Yes, the story ended that way and it was a real story that happened a few decades ago. Being a Singaporean, I suppose you know what CB means.

Victor said...

Chun See - Lazy monkey doesn't feel like plucking coconuts leh. But at least the monkey is not so lazy as some lazy dragon who does not want to do the meme. (Incidentally, Shilpa who is 30 year-old, is also born under the dragon sign. Looks like she hasn't done hers either. However, the 3rd dragon here seems to be very hardworking - Chris has done his.

Victor said...

Chris - What!? Another poem? This is just a game, okay? Why are you practising so hard writing poems? You think we are really going to be stranded on a deserted island ah?

Shilpa. said...

Hi Victor, thanks for visiting my blog! :) Err, actually, that plate not Sindhi food, just normal samosas, and not I make one, heh heh.. buy from shop kind. haven't added Sindhi dishes to my repertoire yet! Too complicated, you see..

Yah, if I dunno what CB is, no right to be called S'porean! :)

Wah, I didn't know got so many dragons around here!

Still looking for "victims", man.. sian.

etel said...

If we are bored, she can entertain us with a circus act using fruits. If we need more, she can teach us how to turn the fruits into toys which would please us to no end.


eastcoastlife said...

sigh... Victor,
I know what you thinking, bringing your choice of men, so selfish. But I prefer to play with the fruits. muahahahaha....

FireHorse said...

Aiyah, I never knew dat about Chris, as per your discription he macam 3in1 guy, can cook, can housekeep, some more can write poem. If only I knew I oso bring him on my island but housekeeping skills probably not dat useful on island since got no house leh.
Btw I like your blog, when have more time will hop over and read older posts.

Victor said...

Shilpa - Still struggling with the meme? Which country are you in now ah?

GNE - :P

Jayne - Not all men, my GNE is there mah.

Firehorse... no, Fatty Poh... no, Kopi Soh... (Woah, you one person got 3 nicks, I also confused liao lah.) - Thanks for visiting my blog and "seeing me so up". Your blog is also very interesting and animated (literally).

tigerfish said...

Buahahahhah *laughed till peng" liow!

Shilpa. said...

Victor, I finished the meme liao! Go and see! Sorry, you not among the 5 (hardly know you lah) but thought you might be interested! :) I'm in France, lah, not going anywhere...

Victor said...

It's okay Shilpa. Don't feel bad not including me 'cos I too am "busy" lying under a coconut tree. :)