What Is GEMS?

Every month, I normally draw a cheque to transfer my funds from Bank A to Bank B so that I can earn a higher rate of interest on my money. Like most people would, I prefer to write a cheque rather than handle cash transactions. By issuing a cheque to myself and depositing it in the express cheque deposit box, I avoid having to wait for the banks to open, stand in line in Bank A to withdraw cash and then commute to Bank B only to join another long queue to deposit the money. That is, if I am lucky not to have been robbed of my money by then. I have been doing this for the past several years without any problem at all. It has saved me quite a lot of legwork and time.

Then this month, I noticed that my cheque was not cleared after one whole week. I called Bank B's hotline yesterday morning to ask what had happened. The prudent lady at the other end of the line asked me a series of verification questions to ascertain that I was indeed the rightful account owner. It was only after I managed to convince her that I was no conman that she took down my contact number and promised to call me back later.

I waited... and waited... till the end of the office day. Running out of patience, I decided to call her again. Not sensing that I was running short of patience, she tested it again by going through the whole list of verification questions again! It was only after I bursted out, "Look, I am only checking what happened to my cheque and not withdrawing a million dollars with this call" that she explained sometimes it could take one whole day to cheque check check cheque details like this. (Quite efficient hor?) She let me hear another few more minutes of soothing music (to calm my frayed nerves, I suppose). Finally, she came on and said, "Sorry, Sir. Your cheque is 'out-of-date'.

"What?", I retorted. "Out-of-date? How could that be? I only deposited it last week."

"Sir, you have dated the cheque with year '05'. We have returned the cheque to you by post."

True enough, when I reached home, I found the following returned cheque in my letter box:

I acknowlege that it was my mistake for thinking that it was still last year. No excuse for that, especially when it is already Apr 06 now. Hey, but it was an honest mistake and I am 50, which makes me forgiveable for making mistakes like that. So I continued unrelentlessly, "But I have dutifully written down my contact number behind the cheque. Why didn't you call me. If you never make use of my contact number then why did the bank always ask for it? You could have gone that extra mile in service, you know? And I would have appreciated it very much. After all, banking is a service. Good or bad makes a world of difference."

There was a short silence. (I don't think that it was because she was shocked by what I said but rather, she was probably thinking of a diplomatic and politically correct reply.) Then the lady apologised: "I am so sorry about that, Sir. We will remind the cheque clearing section to check with the customer first the next time."

Me: "Then how about my free platinum credit card which one of your relationship managers promised me one month ago? I still have not received it yet, you know?

Lady: "Sir, you have to apply for the card. Have you submitted your application yet?"

Me: "I signed a lot of forms then. Don't know whether I signed any credit card application or not."

Lady: "No problem, Sir. I'll check and call you back again."

Me thinking: (Oh no, not again.)

Incidentally, this is the same bank which I complained about a few months ago in this post. Ironically, the bank has recently signed me up as one of its priority customers. Priority? What priority? What is GEMS? "Go-the-Extra-Mile for Services" or "Gone's-the-Extra-Mile for Services"? I think I should seriously consider putting my money where there's better service rather than going for a higher interest rate. HHNNGG.