HEAVEN IS WHEN
Your cook is French
The policeman is English
Your mechanic is German
Your lover is Italian
And everything is run by the Swiss
HELL IS WHEN
Your cook is English
The policeman is German
Your mechanic is French
Your lover is Swiss
And everything is run by the Italians
Since the Internet article was reproduced in one of our national newspapers, it should be safe for me to put it back on the Internet via my blog. I can't verify how true are all the claims but we can scrutinise one aspect - how good are German cars versus French ones? I quote the survey results from the following BBC website:
Top 10 Unreliable Cars According to Topgear Survey
According to the survey, the top 10 most unreliable cars amongst a total of 142 cars surveyed in 2005 were:
Citroen C3 (133rd)
VW Polo (New) (134th)
Citroen Xsara (135th)
Citroen C5 (136th)
Fiat Stilo (137th)
Renault Megane (New) (138th)
Mercedes M-Class (139th)
Peugeot 307 (140th)
Renault Laguna (141st)
Renault Espace (142nd)
Out of the list, 7 were French cars and 2 German. So the French 'won' hands down in this dubious category. Perhaps the French should switch to selling lemons instead of cars. But then again, the British might be bias. (Note that according to the short article quoted at the beginning of this post, the English are bad cooks. So could they have cooked up the bad figures? Maybe. I personally find it hard to believe that a Mercedes is also in the list. But I couldn't help feeling worried because I drive a French car:
So far, the car has not given me any problems (touch wood). But then again, who would expect a 5-month old car to give any problems?
Recently I visited a German expo in Singapore to find out more about the Germans:
The Germans are no doubt very innovative and ingenious designers and engineers. They came up with the bionic car:
For the uninitiated, bionics translates nature's solutions into human technology, for there is no doubt that nature is the best engineer and the most ingenious designer of all. For example, how is a water spider able to swim and dive without getting wet? Real solutions from bionics include self-cleaning surfaces based on the properties of lotus leaves, self-sharpening cutting tools that copy the principle of rodent teeth. Even the Velcro fastener originated from a bionic inspiration.
The shape of the bionic car is based on the boxfish (also known as puffer fish in the local context):
It is found that a model of a boxfish in a wind tunnel test produced a very low Cd (Coefficient of Drag) value of 0.06. (The bionic car has a Cd value of 0.19.) A low Cd value translates into good fuel economy - extremely important with today's high fuel prices. (The 1991 cc bionic car has a fuel consumption of 4.3 litre/100 km. In contrast, my 1598 cc Renault Scenic could only manage 8.0 litre/100 km. What a shame!)
More details about the bionic car are available from this URL:
The Germans not only make very good, prestigious (and expensive) cars:
And unlike the Englishmen, they are very good cooks as well:
They also brew very good beer:
And they are very proud of it:
I also wonder why did a Japanese car brand employ Germans to endorse their cars in a current TV commercial. In this commercial the people were having a conversation. It all sounds like German to me (i.e. I couldn't understand a word) and all that I can understand, if I don't read the English subtitles, is when they utter the brand of the car. Now isn't this a tacit acknowledgement that the Germans know more about good cars than the Japanese? Why didn't the car makers feature Japanese in the commercial?
However, I must say that their vacuum cleaner sucks, literally. At more than $400 for a normal vacuum cleaner, it is guaranteed not only to suck up with every speck of dust and any puppy that happens to be in the way but also all your savings too. So what if it has HEPA filters and the air it blows out is supposed to be cleaner than the air it sucks in? In my opinion, it is all hot air (pardon the pun). A vacuum cleaner does not carry a status symbol, unlike a Mercedes Benz and therefore the price is not justified. Only a sucker will buy that sucker.
So in comparison, what do the French have to offer besides their cars of dubious quality?
Only their loaves:And a product (a type of cap) which has a name associated with them:
So what do the nationalistic and proud Frenchmen have to say?