Bra Humour

I have written about bra humour before here. In today's New Paper, there is an article on bra humour too.

For the past 3 weeks, the 2 lifts of Block 752 Pasir Ris St 71 sometimes have an unmentionable item hanging from the lifts' ceilings. It is a pair of bra.

The perpetrator may think that it is funny. Or maybe he/she is simply sick (in the mind). What really caught my attention was the bra the humour, not of the perpetrator but of a resident in the block who wrote a notice to the offender. It was a beautiful piece, almost poetic:

Dear BrA-HAnging person,

Thank you for
your kind efforts of
decorating the lifts
of this Block.
Since you have no intentions of
stopping this,
we would appreciate
if u consider something else instead
of always the
Black & WHITE Bras.

PS: We are bored of
the Black & White Bras already
Do consider the aesthetics of this block,
They do not match the
Outlook of the lifts.
Do those belong to your sis or mom?
Cos they look rather cheap.
Have you considered
triumph or la senza?
Or maybe a model in the lift?

- Residents of Block 752 who appreciates your hardwork.

Now I just hope that the guilty person could read and understand English. But then again, if he could, he should be quite educated and probably wouldn't commit such a perverted act? Hmm... maybe he might as even highly educated people sometimes commit crimes. What if he is mad? Perhaps a pictorial sign like the one below would be more appropriate:

I would like to suggest an appropriate punishment for the offender if he is ever caught for the unmentionable crime. (Here I am assuming that the offender is a man.) I recall an episode from the recent Mediacorp TV series Fighting Spiders in which a prostitute-visiting bully was shamed publicly by making him run in public wearing a pair of bra. Maybe the offender should be made to do the same?

Do you have any suggested punishment if the offender turns out to be a woman instead? Run in public without wearing any bra? No, that would be too indecent a proposal. Besides, it would be a depressing sight indeed if what you see are shriveled and sagging...

Durian Challenge

Earlier this month, Chun See threw a challenge for some bloggers to name 5 places where you still could find durians in Singapore. Contrary to the title of this blog, I didn't take up the challenge as I was pre-occupied with another incidental topic.

However, The New Paper seemed to have gotten wind of Chun See's article and today it published an article seemingly in answer to Chun See's challenge. The article is reproduced below. (You have just saved yourself 80 cents which can go towards buying yourself a grapefruit-sized durian.)

As for me, I would rather pay for my durians than to risk getting a hundred puncture wounds in my skull while going in search for free durians. And indeed, I just paid $5 for a very good durian sold at Marine Parade Central yesterday. No fighting with fellow durian-pickers, no enduring of mosquito bites, no driving 20 km to Punggol end and no waiting for long hours. Isn't $5 worth paying for all those exemptions? You decide.

TRIUMPH: Mr Tay Joo Mong found this large specimen in the forest near Punggol Road.

New Paper Articles On Not-so-young Bloggers

Early this week, I received an sms from Chun See. He said that Mr Ho Lian-Yi, a reporter from the New Paper had interviewed him earlier and he would like to interview me as well. Chun See asked if he could give my hp number to Mr Ho. I replied the sms half an hour later saying, "May I have his hp number instead?" Chun See responded almost immediately, "Since no reply, I gave him your hp no. already." Oh my, that was the first time someone considered my half-hour sms response time as "no reply".

So thanks to Chun See, an article about my blog appeared in the New Paper today. Mr Ho is of small build and looked like he's in his 20s. He came to my office's cafeteria with photographer Mr Mohd Ishak who brandished a very professional-looking Canon EOS-1 Mark 2 digital SLR which cost several thousand dollars. He took a few dozen photos of me posing 'facelessly'. The two powerful flashes alerted one of the security staff who came and investigate what was happening.

Reproduced below (portion in blue) is the article here for all who care to read but especially for my good friend and colleague Chris who'd rather save 80 cents on the price of the tabloid. He just refused to buy the paper even though I told him that our mutual friend Chun See was also featured. I don't know why Chris is still my good friend. Maybe next time I'll just call him "my colleague".

'Old dogs' can do good blogs

Mr Victor Koo, 51, owner of victorkoo.blogspot.com, in which he writes about everything under the sun

He wanted to show that "every old dog could do a good blog".

So when IT consultant Victor Koo's younger colleague threw down the gauntlet two years ago, he promptly picked it up and started up his blog Taking Up The Challenge (victorkoo.blogspot.com).

Light-hearted and jokey, Mr Koo writes about everything under the sun.

One funny post about "Chingrish" (his word for Singlish) involved having his readers guessing an object based on a poorly-written label - and he even created funny awards for the contestants, including a "Booby Award".

"There's a joy in blogging - you have to be in it to realise it," he said.

"I'm my own writer, my own publisher, I don't need permission from anybody. There is no need to censor myself - within reasonable limits," he added.

Almost too much joy sometimes. His wife, a civil servant, is not in favour of his hobby because he spends too much time on the PC.

She prefers him to coach their two sons in schoolwork instead.

"So I have to show some self-restraint sometimes, kek-kek (pretend) go and do some coaching," he joked.

However, Mr Koo also values his privacy. So he refuses to put any clear images of himself on his blog, relying instead on the relative anonymity of his name. Which is also why he declined to show his face for this report.

"You have less inhibitions to say what you want," he said. Once you identify yourself, you have restrictions. Your relatives will know. Your friends will know. You become more guarded."

His is in contrast to former chief executive officer of insurance giant NTUC Income Mr Tan Kin Lian's blog, tankinlian.blogspot.com.

The 59-year-old has been blogging since 2005 and has gained a sizeable following for his blog as he dispenses his views on financial matters and insurance, and the occasional tidbits about his personal life.

"Many people write to me for advice. I also wanted to give my views on social issues, so that more people can learn to live a better life in Singapore," he said.

Gee, thanks for comparing me to a former CEO who is still a household name, Mr Ho. Why is it that suddenly, I feel not only faceless (in every sense of the word) but also so small?

For the benefit my colleague Chris, here is the part where Chun See mentioned his (Chris') blog:

But hanging with the younger folk online isn't always easy. One of the blogs he frequently reads simshaddy.blogspot.com, often ends each post with the letters LOL.

For a long time, that confused him.

"I didn't know what was LOL. I thought LOL meant 'lots of love'," he said.

Now wouldn't you LOL or even ROTFLOL (roll on the floor laughing out loud) at that?

ROTFLOL