31 May 2010

He Licks And She Sucks

Some time ago, my blogger friend wrote a blog post with a suggestive title, Suck harder! And it will come out. Seeing what big excitement such a title could arouse, I am following in his footsteps. But not by sucking.

Marina Bay Sands (MBS) was the second integrated resort (IR) to open in Singapore this year. The first one was of course Resorts World Sentosa (RWS). Various attractions were opened progressively together with the 2 IRs. RWS had the Universal Studios while the MBS had the Helix (pronounced "he licks") Bridge.

I was at the Helix Bridge to lick soak up the scenic sights on the Saturday night of 22 May 2010. The bridge was crowded.

But only half of it was. The other half was deserted.

Why? Because only half of the bridge was opened; the other half remained closed. Curious people tried to peep beyond the barricade.

Can you differentiate who is the real person in the above photo and who is a cardboard cut-out? (Clue: My younger son is in the photo. Hmm... I can't believe that my 13-year-old son is taller than the adult woman!) Fortunately, the woman is only a cardboard cut-out. If she were real, my son could have been accused of committing khalwat (close proximity).

You could take beautiful photos of the bridge.

You could also take beautiful photos from the bridge.

I am no Feng Shui expert but suddenly, it dawned on me that the bridge should have been more appropriately called Shesux (pronounced "she sucks") instead of Helix. Why, you ask? Get your mind out of the gutter! It is not what you think. The logic is actually quite simple.

See the Singapore Flyer?

It is strategically positioned as the mouth of a giant vacuum cleaner hose while the bridge is the hose itself. This contraption sucks all the wealth from the people into the casino! How evil! How clever!

Moreover, Shesux will surely remind people not to gamble away their life savings at the casino, much better than mild and uncreative warnings like "know the line", "draw the line" or "crossing the line" as expounded by the National Council on Problem Gambling can, I assure you.

Don't believe? Wanna bet?

10 comments:

Andy Young* said...

I like this posting Vic. Plenty of humour and, wah, she sucks...

Must walk the bridge one day. I want to catch the lady with the tudong while carrying my payong!

Victor said...

Andy, while you do that, remember to put your tangan on her pantat. :p

yg said...

victor, how could you suggest to andy to put his hand on her pantat? then, he kena charged for outraging her modesty. penalty could include fine or jail or caning. however, no caning for us over 55.

peter said...

Wasn't there a song sung by some ABC, "He licks, She bangs, She sucks"?

Cool Insider said...

You are the master of the headline from Hell.... haha.... Nice photos btw, and I'm sure to make a visit to that place pretty soon.

Thimbuktu said...

Suggestive candid photo titles just for fun...not seriously ; )

Anonymous said...

Victor,

Is there any good but free software for superimposing photos that I can download from the internet?

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Victor,

I have not been to the bridge. Out of curiousity, I wonder whether there was actually a cardboard cut-out image of the lady. Your photo shows it being attached to the wall and not standing on the ground. Her legs are not firmly fixed to the ground.

Is the 'master' at work again? Hahaha!

Victor said...

To Anonymous of Sat Jun 05, 2010. I use Adobe Photoshop. It is certainly not free, if you want to stay on the right side of the law, that is.

This is but one deterrent in using it. Another is that you need to be trained to use its features effectively. Not that I am boasting about my Photoshop skills but I attended a 3-day course on how to use it. The course is not free either but I was fortunate that my office had paid for it.

For free photo-editing software, you may try Picasa from Google or Photoscape. I have never used both software and don't know if they could be used for superimposing photos but here's a video on the features of Picasa.

The Malay woman in the photo is definitely not a Photoshop job. You could see the same woman in this photo from Icemoon's latest post on the same subject.

Anonymous said...

Victor,

Thank you for your reply, sound advice and pointers.

Other than the relevant facts, your blog articles are filled with humor, anecdotes and "out of the box thinking" which make them very interesting.

Keep it up!

Regards,