Don't Grieve Forever

I read with great sadness an article in today's New Paper titled "Did slain boy's mum die of broken heart?"

More than 4 years ago, Mdm Lee's son, Wong Dao Jing died after being attack by a group of men in Lucky Chinatown Shopping Centre. Mdm Lee offered a $10,000 reward for information on the assailants but they remained at large so far.

Last February, in an interview with the New Paper, she said that it was painful to see mothers spending time with their sons. She added: "Knowing that I can no longer do the same thing with my son really breaks my heart."

She also recalled the time he died: "I was in such shock I couldn't even cry. Even when I saw his body, I couldn't believe he had died."

Mdm Lee, 45, who was divorced, was known to have taken to drinking to drown her sorrows. Last Wednesday, her decomposed body was found in her flat. At her bedside was a bottle of red wine and some pills.

I feel so sorry for Mdm Lee and I cannot imagine the extreme pain that she went through. It must have been very difficult for her. Perhaps the following article from Dr James Dobson which coincidentally was published in the same day's edition of Today newspaper can offer some advice:

Don't Grieve Forever

William Shakespeare wrote: "Grief fills the room of my absent child, lies in his bed, walks up and down with me, puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words."

Let me tell you about my mother. My parents walked a rocky road during the early days of their marriage. But their relationship was soon cemented tight. And from that time until the day my mother died, she loved that man. It is impossible to describe how much she loved him. It was the kind of love for a husband that most men could only dream about.

A couple of years after my father died, my mother went into the hospital. She was experiencing some symptoms. So, they ran a barriage of tests, and finally two physicians sat down with her.

They said: "Mrs Dobson, your problem is not a physical ailment. It is grief that is killing you, and you must find a way to release it." But she never did. She couldn't do it. She simply loved my father too deeply.

Grief for a lost family member is good and necessary. But it's a process that must be worked through, in order to get to the greener pastures beyond. It would be well to remember the words: "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."