29 February 2008

Did Dr Sun Yat Sen Undergo Plastic Surgery?

On 23 Feb 2008 (Sat), Wee Kiat and I went to Wan Qing Yuan (晚晴园) in Tai Gin Road to take some photos of Dr Sun Yat Sen's statue for our next book.

We didn't know that the Memorial Hall was closed for major repair works since 1 May 2007.

We really appreciated that we were allowed inside the compound for a short while to take some photos. If not, our trip to the villa would have been completely wasted.

Drilling for oil?

I couldn't help but notice this sign erected inside the compound:

Hmm... I wonder if an MRT line would be built near Wan Qing Yuan? If so, then Dr Sun might have less use for his horse:

We're also a little shocked to see the face of Dr Sun defaced:

Wee Kiat called the white stuff "bird sh*t". But I thought it looked more like the stuff which Ah Long kakis (illegal loan shark runners) would throw on people's doors when they fell behind in debt repayments. It was hard to imagine anyone related to Dr Sun or Wan Qing Yuan having anything with illegal loan sharks though. One thing for sure - in that state, Dr Sun did look like a battled-scarred soldier.

I told Wee Kiat not to worry about the white streaks on Dr Sun's face as they could be easily removed from the photo using a photo-editing software from Adobe called PhotoShop (PS). This was what I did:

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So if anyone would like to look 10 years younger, send me a photo and I could do a wrinkle-removal plus a free facelift thrown-in using PS (PhotoShop, not plastic surgery). My fees are much cheaper than those of famous beauty guru Dr Woffles Wu and the results much more lasting.

I believe the same technique was also used to "shave" Mas Selamat Kastari's face. (Mas is currently Singapore's most wanted man. He escaped from custody on 27 Feb 2008 using the pretext of going to the toilet. Like many others, I have also wondered how it could have happened in Singapore where security is supposed to be world-class. Well, maybe he flushed himself into the toilet. Haha.)

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Mas Unmasked

Finally, to answer the question posed in the title of this entry - no, Dr Sun didn't have plastic surgery, only PhotoShop.

22 February 2008

Like That Also Can Ah?

I apologise to all my readers for not having updated this blog for some time. If you are wondering what happened to me, I have been busy doing quite a few things:

1. I have been updating this blog daily instead.

2. I got a $299 Compaq laptop by recontracting with MaxOnLine for another 28 months and I have been playing with my new toy. No, blogging is not playing.

3. I also bought a new Compaq desktop with Windows Vista Premium OS last month. Since then, I had to recover the system twice because some system files were corrupted. The cause? Well, I would like to think that it was due to the instability of the Windows Vista OS rather than because my wife accidentally turned the mains switch off while the PC was still running a program. If you have done a system recovery before, you will know that it is a tedious and time-consuming process.

Hopefully, I will be able to blog more frequently henceforth.

You may be wondering why this post is titled as such. The answer is because my colleague forwarded this article to me the other day:

My reply to him was:

"I bet the strokes that he applied on his brush are no ordinary brush strokes.

And just imagine what substitute he will use when he runs out of oil paint!

10 February 2008

More Chinese New Year Greetings

I think this CNY SMS message is quite cute and would like to share it with you. It consists of 12 auspicious wishes, each of them starting with a character of a Chinese zodiac animal. Some of the wishes very cleverly play on the similar sounds of different Chinese characters:

给您送上祝福。 原您鼠年开始 - Here's wishing you, starting from the Year of the Rat

鼠钱不完! Count (~rat) money to no end!

牛那样壮! As strong as a cow!

虎虎生威! As powerful as a tiger!

兔气扬眉! Success in everything that you do!

龙马精神! Health!

蛇得消费! Willing (~snake) to spend money!

马到功成! All your endeavours meet with success!

羊洋得意! Live in joy and happiness!

猴会有期! We will meet later (~monkey)!

鸡不可失! Catch every opportunity (~rooster)!

狗用就算! Sufficient (~dog) to spend is enough!

猪你发财! Wish (~pig) you wealth!

06 February 2008

Early Born Expensive Son

For the Chinese, it is not enough that the New Year be happy - it must be prosperous too. That's why you can find this larger-than-life Cai Shen Ye (财神爷) or Wealth God within Shaw Centre.

Ironically, I don't have that much wealth to acquire such a large Wealth God but I certainly could afford a 10-inch version which costs me only $13.80:

However, don't you underestimate this little plump fellow. He can gyrate his body and head better than a seasoned Indian dancer. Not only that, he does that in synchronisation with disco lights and with the accompaniment of an auspicious albeit noisy song titled Cai Shen Dao (财神到). But I don't know if he will really bring wealth to my family. We shall wait and see.

Let me wish you a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year with the following wishes:

1. Wish Happy Be Rich

2. Horse Arrive Work Done

3. Step Step High Rise

4. Year Year Got Fish

5. One Road Smooth Wind

6. Heart Think Work Done

7. Dragon Horse Sperm God

If you thought that I came up with the above wishes myself, then you couldn't be more wrong. Believe it or not, they were published exactly 5 years ago in our Business Times!

Oh by the way, the wishes mean:

1. Wishing you happiness and prosperity (Gong Xi Fa Cai 恭喜发财)

2. Wishing you quick success in everything you do (Ma Dao Gong Cheng 马到工成)

3. May you rise up the ranks (Bu Bu Gao Sheng 步步高升)

4. May you have excess and abundance (Nian Nian You Yu 年年有余)

5. May you have a smooth journey (Yi Lu Shun Feng 一路顺风)

6. May your heart's desires come true (Xin Xiang Shi Cheng 心想事成)

7. Wishing you excellent health and vitality (Long Ma Jing Shen 龙马精神)

The article was forwarded to me by a colleague recently. My reply to him was:

"May the Sperm God bestow you with Early Born Expensive Son."

Oops... on second thought, it sounded more like I was referring to my premature son whose hospital bill came up to more than $30,000 without subsidy.

Actually, I meant to wish him to be blessed with a precious baby soon (Zao Sheng Gui Zi 早生贵子)

03 February 2008

One Ball Missing

Weekend lunch for my family is usually chicken rice. There is this stall in my neighbourhood coffeeshop which is quite popular. Usually there is at least a half-hour wait on weekends. While waiting, I sometimes order fishball mee from the stall next to it.

This morning, I was at the same coffeeshop to buy lunch for my family. As usual, I ordered fishball mee and went to take a seat. While waiting for the young woman stall assistant to prepare my lunch, I witnessed a most disgusting act. When she scooped out the fishballs from the soup, she accidentally dropped one of the fishballs onto the floor. Nonchalantly, she just picked it up with her hand and threw it back into the pot of boiling soup without even washing it!!! She probably didn't know that I was observing her from a distance.

I immediately got up from my seat and approached her. I said, "你把那粒鱼圆放回去啊?我不要吃了!" (You put back the fishball? I don't want to eat anymore!).

As if nothing had happened, she replied, "哦,不要吃没关系." (Don't want to eat? It doesn't matter.)

Hello, what "doesn't matter"? Well, she did save one fishball and I might have saved myself from a bout of lao sai (diarrhoea). But what she probably didn't realise is that she had not only lost me as a regular customer forever but also others who might be reading this article and recognise the stall. (If you don't, provide me your contact details and I will let you know where this stall is.)

Worse, if NEA (National Environment Agency) comes to know about her grossly unhygenic act, the stall's license might very well be suspended. Okay, she probably only works at the stall and is not the license holder. But still, she could very well lose her job.

For now, I am happy just boycotting the stall.